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"How come I can’t comment or chat? Why can’t I save my favorites? I want to invite my friends! I can’t upload my videos of me jerking off the guy at the liquor store..."

Quit your whining, Mary Jane. Sign up, then you can do all that shit - and it won’t cost you a dime. Plus, once you’re registered, you can earn points redeemable for great prizes – like even more great porn for you and your pals to beat off to.

So get registered, and we'll pimp you out with everything but furs and 'gators.

What is there to think about? It's porn! It's free! It takes two fucking minutes!

Or don't sign up. Do nothing, and continue to stand in the corner in your frilly party dress with your thumb up your ass like a Frenchman.

Pussy.